Book review: 5LL by Gary Chapman – Final thoughts.

We have finally concluded Gary Chapman’s book and I’m so glad. I’m sure you learned one thing or the other about other people around you and of course you also got to decipher what your love language is. Somewhere in my head, I’m already declaring Thursdays to be for book reviews ๐Ÿ˜. This was quite fun. Wouldn’t it be so weird to write a review on how we can better our relationship with people around us and not write about how we can also better our relationship with God?
What is God’s love language? Have you ever asked yourself this question? To the best of my knowledge, I feel God’s love language is all the love languages ๐Ÿ˜. Each and every single one of them; be it Words of affirmation (God loves to be praised, honored and glorified. He even wants other people around us to give glory to Him when He brings us out of a challenge and this is because every situation we find ourselves in, we must give glory to God). He reciprocates this by telling us our identity in His son through His word (1st Peter 2:9) this verse of the Bible and many more.
Quality time- โ€œmay the grace of the Lord be with us, the love of God and the sweet fellowship of the Holy Spirit.โ€
At some point, we all used and recited this and some of us still do. โ€˜The sweet fellowship of the Holy Spiritโ€™ connotes the quality time God will always love to have with us. It is during these periods of sweet fellowship with Him that we get to know who the Father is. He reciprocates this love language by honoring the time we have set aside for Him and coming to fellowship with us.
The act of services -(for a minute I paused here) Going all out to fulfill that which God has called you to do is an act of service. Let’s see the GREAT COMMISSION, He assigned the disciples to go into the nation to preach and baptize people in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost. The amazing thing about this is that God plays the biggest role in this love language but He plays it through us and so it is not like He deligated the whole work to us. He says we should open our mouths and He would fill them with words, preach to the lost souls and He would stir up a conviction within them and save them. He reciprocates this love language by working through us because we are vessels unto Him.
Receiving gifts – We can see all through the Old Testament of how God was pleased with the people whenever they offered sacrifices to Him, every single sacrifice would end with, โ€œand the Lord was pleased with themโ€ In a way, I am trying to relate those sacrifices we give to God to a gift. Although what is needed for the sacrifice came from Him but in a way we have learned to return part of it to Him with thanksgiving. He reciprocates this love language by supplying all our needs according to His riches in glory.
And lastly, physical touch, you know when you just want to love up on God and you want to hug Him and all? Learn to hug yourself because if indeed you can’t see God, you are an express image of Him. But asides this, there is the time you feel the warm embrace of the Holy Spirit, that chill, you just know He is around you!

Till next time.

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Spirit lead me.

โ€œSpirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the water, in the presence of my saviour. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith would be made stronger, in the presence of my saviour.โ€
– Oceans, Hillsong. (I hope you sang along?)

โ€œYou know God yourself because you have encountered Him, but then, do you trust Him as much as you think you do? โ€
-My Note from Exodus 4:4.

I guess we are all familiar with the story of Moses in Exodus?
God told Moses โ€œif these people who I call my people do not believe that I sent you to them, show them these signs.โ€ He told Moses to throw his stick on the floor and it became a snake! My Bible records that Moses ran away from it, Lol! (yeah, I know right? That would have been terrifying and amazing at the same time, anyone would have reacted the same way.)
God then told him to bend down to pick the snake by the tail. God didn’t give him any other instruction than that, all he was instructed to do was to pick the snake by the tail. Let’s pause for a minute, if you were Moses would you pick up the snake by its tail, would you? ๐Ÿ˜ ( I mean, it’s a snake! ๐Ÿ˜„)
Moses had encountered God and was still encountering God, in a way he already knew God’s heart. He already got the image of the perfect expression of love He was and is. He knew how God felt about His chosen people, He knew the disposition of the Father’s heart. So then, Moses Bent to pick the snake knowing perfectly that it would not strike him, even if it did, it would not hurt him, but fortunately the snake returned to its former form, a stick.
There is something amazing about knowing the Father’s heart and knowing how much He intends to protect us from all files and harm.

Moses had this ultimate trust in God that was beyond borders and constraint. This should be the way each and every one of us should trust God as well. We all need that trust beyond borders.

Till next time.

Book review -5LL by Gary Chapman – Act of service and physical touch.

Act of service.
Request gives direction to love but demand stops the flow.

Gary Chapman mentioned that what love birds do before marriage is no indication of what they would do after marriage. Why is this? Before marriage there is the ‘in-love’ obsession phase but then after marriage partners slowly but surely revert to who they were before falling in love and now commitment plays the big role but not that there is no love at all (love is the fire, you know).

Something to note ( Relationship talk here)
Sometimes your partner’s criticism ( constructive that is) provides you with the clearest view to their love language.

Something else to note is this also, you must know if your partner treats you like a door mat or a lover. Allowing anyone to treat you like a door mat instead of a lover is not love on your part at all, you are encouraging them to develop inhumane behaviours and this is a treason, love says โ€œ I love you so much but I would not let you treat me this way. It is not good for you or me. โ€

Now to the real deal with this love language, act of service, this love language enables or allows us to overcome ROLE STEREOTYPE of husbands and wives, it enables a break from the norm. No one is asking or telling a partner to do it all alone but it wouldn’t hurt or kill if one partner decides to help out instead of delegating the whole duty to the other partner ( communication is key remember).

Physical touch.
Physical touch is more than ‘SEX’ itself, it is more than sex, I repeat. In the book Gary Chapman says most times men think that their primary love languages is physical touch whereas in the actual sense, it might not be their primary love language but probably it could be secondary( you know, words of affirmation or act of service could be their primary language)
Some people love to hold hands, hug, cuddle and the likes. This is their love language. But with this love language comes Gal 5:22 (especially when it comes to SEX, most people do not want to believe that this act is more spiritual than it is actually physical, a heaven birthed idea only within the confinement of a marriage) self control, which is a fruit of the spirit. You must have self control especially if you and your partner have not been joined by marriage, maybe you are still courting ๐Ÿ˜Š.
This could be your love language, maybe you just love to sneak up on your partner and give him or her a hug or something, you know. And definitely if you love to help others with one thing or the other then maybe the act of service is your love language.

Till next time.

Whole Loaf.

Leviticus 25:20-22 KJV
And if ye shall say, What shall we eat the seventh year? behold, we shall not sow, nor gather in our increase: [21] Then I will command my blessing upon you in the sixth year, and it shall bring forth fruit for three years. [22] And ye shall sow the eighth year, and eat yet of old fruit until the ninth year; until her fruits come in ye shall eat of the old store.

Side story:

One minute you think she is with you,
the next minute she is staring into the thin air, confused and full of doubts.

She worries about every and anything.
What would tomorrow look like?
What does God have in store for me?
Why do things seem gloomy right now?

When would God answer my prayers?
When would God visit me?
Does He even hear my cries from His throne?
โ€œI know He cares but why doesn’t it seem so? โ€ she would ask.

She has a lot on her mind.
A lot of questions to be asked.

But what she lacked, God is mightily full of.
What she doubted, He is sure of.
Where she was broken, He is whole.
โ€œTrust the lover of your soul. โ€ She vividly heard God say to her in her spirit.

โ€œHe knows just what we need before we say a word. โ€ This is so mind-blowing. So I was reading through Leviticus and God told them at a particular time not to sow and gather crops in the seventh year, coupled with that He told them He knew that some may start to ask what they would eat during the seventh year because He knew the man to worry a lot. Worry about what to eat, where to lay our heads, what to do, what to say, how to say it, how to act.
God told them He was going to bless them so much in the sixth year that the blessings would extend to even the eight years. This was God teaching them to rely on him for everything and anything. This was God telling them they have access to the whole loaf and not the crumbs because they were His people, set apart for Himself, they were His chosen ones.
Just like the Israelites, do you have something you are worried about? Some giving you sleepless nights? Something you are not so sure about? A feeling of doubt? Your soul needs peace and this peace you have been given in full measure, a whole bread itself and not just crumbs.

Till next time.

Book review : 5LL by Gary Chapman – Receiving gifts.

A GIFT IS A SYMBOL OF THOUGHT.

Think about this for a while, it is not only the thought implanted that counts but the thought expressed in actually securing the gift that counts. Giving the gift is an expression of love.

For some people receiving gifts is their love language and I know that most people would think โ€œwell every woman loves gifts”, but does that make receiving gifts every woman’s love language? well no, not everyone symbolizes receiving a gift as an act of love. I mean it really doesn’t matter what amount of gift you give to a person whose love language is quality time. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying such a person would not value your gift, in fact, he or she will appreciate you and thank you after you hand them the gift (hopefully ๐Ÿ˜„) but it doesn’t mean you are speaking their love language.

This is another question that I thought about while reading what Gary Chapman wrote on receiving gifts, “Does it mean I am materialistic if my love language is receiving gifts? โ€ Don’t over think the love language, you are perfectly alright โ˜บ I assure you. Let me answer this question by referring back to the book;
Gifts can be purchased, found or made. They do not need to be so expensive. I mean you could choose to buy a gift for a loved one or maybe your partner loves flowers so much and one day you walk across this beautiful garden, you could pick up a flower and present it to your partner or you know, you could just make something that expresses loves to you, maybe cut out a love shape from a card and write I love you on it. It really doesn’t have to be so expensive because at the end of the day all that matters is that when the gift is given to the person all that resonates in his or her mind is that โ€œaww! He/she thought about me today. โ€ and this is really all that matters.

Gifts and money; if you can afford a nice dress please do not pick up a flower by the roadside ๐Ÿ˜„. I know you are very analytical and frugal, but then this is not something you are expected to do 7 days a week, it could be once or twice in two weeks. No one is telling you to clear out all the cash you have ๐Ÿ˜„.

So do you feel loved when someone hands you a gift? Do you find yourself gifting other people? Your love language might be receiving or giving out gifts, reflect on it.

MIRAGE.

I can’t ask what a mirage means to you because in the real sense of things it has a general meaning, some sort of “illusion”, the exact opposite of “something”. Literarily, anything that seems to be something it’s not( okay, that’s quite enough definitions โ˜บ). A mirage could be the cause why we settle for less at times, lesser than we deserve.
In a way, it seems like it’s what God said but really it isn’t if you come to think of it. Just take a minute and think about it ๐Ÿ˜„. God promised you a new… you mention it, whatever it is that He has promised you, but as soon as we feel like the next thing we bump into is what God has promised us, it could in a way be likened to us settling for less.
Let me further explain this whole mirage concept, you love this car you saw somewhere on the net and you have faith that before July 2019 it would be yours, you were so confident about this because to top it all, God promised to get it for you in 2019, but then God seems to be taking His time on this issue and you are growing impatient and so you get yourself a miniature and less expensive car because you feel God is delaying you and you need a car urgently! And you go about saying โ€œ after all a car is a car. โ€ This exact concept here is settling for less. In this context God wants you to own a car not that He doesn’t but at the same time He is teaching you to be patient because if you do not learn this attribute you’d keep believing in the mirage and lose sight of the reality and He really doesn’t want this for any of us.

To you, do not settle for lesser than you deserve. You deserve better. Don’t go after the mirage, wait patiently for the real deal.

Book review : 5LL by Gary Chapman – Quality time.

So, last time I wrote on words of affirmation and how important this love language was to people who feel loved by them. Here is another love language, “Quality time”. Quality time in the book brings together time and also conversation.
For some people quality time is paramount to them, they love the attention they get when you give them undivided attention, they feel so loved by you.
To have a perfect quality time with someone, you are not expected to just stare into their eyes, or look at their noses ( well if you want to you are allowed. ๐Ÿ˜„) but part of quality time is quality conversation. You must be able to channel your thoughts and emotions. The expression of these thoughts, emotions and desires is what we call SELF REVELATION.
It was stated in the book that for those who have a little problem in expressing emotions you could do something like;
“When I got out of bed today, how did I feel?”
“What event made me happy today?” “What event made me frustrated today?” “What made me so proud of myself today?”

All these summed up together could spice up a conversation for people who really love detailed conversations. The real deal here is not really doing what you love but spending quality time with the one or the ones you love. To have more equality conversation you could try new experiences. But it is important that both you and the party involved know why you are doing what you are doing and why is that? To express love. To make the other party feel loved. Quality time creates memory banks for the future.

So do you feel loved when people spend quality time with you? Do you like to spend quality time with people?
Possibly, quality time could be your love language.

Till next time.

Book review: 5LL by Gary Chapman – words of affirmation.

YOUR VERY WORDS ARE OF GREAT IMPORTANCE.

Colossians 4:6 KJV
Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

Today I’m reviewing the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman. I don’t necessarily feel like this book is for only the ones in relationships or for married people, I believe it is for single folks as well because in one way or the other, we are all in various relationships. Relationships with our girlfriends, our male friends, neighbours, flat mates, fellow workers at our places of work, you name it.

Why I choose to review this book;

I figured out that it’s either you’ve read this book before maybe a long time ago or not at all, all I want to achieve is to bring back to memory the things you have read or give you scoops on what you have not read. Either ways, no knowledge is lost.

The major love languages listed in the book are ; Words of Affirmations, Act of Services, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts and Quality Time. I am going to be reviewing what was said in the book coupled with some notes I was inspired to put down from reading the book โ˜บ. I won’t be able to share everything in this post but I would subsequently share it in other posts.
Today I am going to review WORDS OF AFFIRMATION. Words of affirmations are words we use to build each other up. Positive words, encouraging words, kind words, humble words. Gary Chapman stated the need to verbally affirm one another. Something like
โ€œ I love that dress on you, you make it look so beautiful. โ€ or โ€œ Everything would turn out fine, I assure you. โ€ or โ€œ It’s so nice that you take out the trash can every Friday, I really appreciate it. โ€

I got to understand that people whose love language is words of affirmation need to hear you affirm them with your words. They need to know that you appreciate what they are doing through the use of your word.

WORDS ARE IMPORTANT!

WORDS ARE VERY IMPORTANT!

This really cannot be overemphasized, the use of words. Even if your friends’ or partner’s love language is not words of affirmation it still doesn’t change the fact that your very words are of great importance. It may not really matter or it may not fill their love tanks as it was used in the book but they still matter.

Concerning relationships, when you realize that what makes you feel loved are words of affirmations, communicate with your partner, speak up and let them know how you feel loved. Communication is very crucial. Your partner is not inside your head and so he or she doesn’t know what is going on there unless you communicate.

So are you moved by words? Do you feel loved when someone appreciates you or when someone gives you a complement? Or do you find yourself giving out words of affirmations? Or do you feel loved when your partner gives you a word of affirmation? Possibly, words of affirmation could be your love language. To know if word of affirmation is your love language you could just reflect on it.

Till next time.

The flawed yet perfect bride!

Male and female alike ๐Ÿ˜„

I bet you thought this post was a relationship post? ๐Ÿ˜„. No, it’s not! I should write on relationships once in a while, so be prepared to learn a lot in 2019 and please in 2019 share your knowledge with me too, drop a comment I plead, share out of your bank of knowledge, I would gain so much and so will everyone who sees it as well.
Men search for God in things He created, is this bad? Not at all. When I say ‘men’ I mean both male and female alike, what are the things we search for in men?

Side story;
โ€œMaybe this hole is just so deep,
so deep nothing can fit into it. โ€
Here she was, alone, trying to get the world to admire her and love her in a certain way.
She desperately needed this love, she desperately needed this care.

She would wear down those around her with her numerous desires and how she wanted them to react to her.
She would make them tired by how she wanted them to treat her.
What she forgot was that these were mortal men, just like her.

You can’t place the responsibilities of God on a man.
We are works in progress, she forgot.
She searched for what she could only find in God in several places and several things God created.

This was God, all in all, trying to draw her back to Him.
When you truly search for Me, you would find Me!
When she was tired of searching, she stopped, she paused and looked around.
Who she had been looking for was God!
Who her heart had been desiring for so long was Him.
He alone can satisfy her.

We search for faithfulness, we search for unconditional love, we search for a caring heart and a listening heart, we search for someone to rely on and to genuinely love us just as we are.
We were sculptured to be loved and cared for, we were sculptured to want people to place us as a priority, we were made to receive validations, but in a way we search for all these numerous things in men. We keep searching for God in men.
Only God can validate us ( and this is a plus one, when you post that Instagram picture be the first to validate yourself, hit the like button), only God can love us like no other, only God can care for us like we are the only one in the world, only God loved us before the world began. After a long day when no one wants to hear about your day, God is always ready to hear about your day, because prayer is fellowship and fellowship with the Holy Spirit. When we place these huge responsibilities on men, it weighs them down and I am writing this not because men cannot love us or men will not listen to us but one thing to keep in mind is this, men can fail but God can’t. We are all works in progress, men will disappoint you but when this happens, it is not really because they are necessarily bad, this is God trying to call you back to Him, this is Him trying to tell you to rely on Him and Him alone. So choose today to rely on God. Rely on Him, never be independent of Him.

Xoxo.
( I have been really inconsistent with posting here because God is teaching me new things and I’m overwhelmed again like I felt in April 2018 when I started the blog and all I have been doing is hiding but this is a testimony for another day. I would share how I walked through these feelings and what really happened. Thank you for visiting today.)

What was God really saying?

It’s a new year, yay!! I pray this new year is drenched with all of God and even when it doesn’t look like it, when we feel God is silent we are quick to remember that we are not to be controlled by our emotions but to be led by the Spirit of God. Today, I am going to be sharing what the Holy spirit told me to share ๐Ÿ˜Š. YAY!
Have you ever read through Exodus, Leviticus and or any book of the laws and didn’t stop at a point and smile because some of those laws were rather shocking? Yeah, this was me while I was studying a part of Leviticus that covered the laws of clean and unclean animals! Some of the animals said to be unclean by God are being eaten in the world right now ๐Ÿ˜„! Yeah, I’ve heard about people who eat pork! But then, do you just wonder, God made these numerous animals and yet He considers some clean and some unclean.
He told Moses to tell the people of Israel that anyone who eats an unclean animal or even carries the dead body of an unclean animal should consider himself unclean till ‘EVENING ‘ not for life ๐Ÿ˜Œ ( I’ve always wanted to use this emoji. ๐Ÿ˜Š) in my head, I started to ask myself questions like โ€œwas God trying to protect the breeds of those animals or what? โ€ but then the Holy spirit gave me more insight to this particular Scripture, in verse 45 God said, Leviticus 11:45 KJV
“For I am the LORD that bringeth you up out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: ye shall therefore be holy, for I am holy”

God wasn’t trying to shove holiness down their throats but He made that law so they could come to a realization that they were HOLY PEOPLE. It wasn’t so much about what they took in or didn’t take in but the coming to understand that because God is Holy, they were Holy as well. HE MADE US HOLY. We are Holy beings! It is not a character they worked for or that they had to work for or in this case ‘we have to work for’, He has made us Holy even before time began and all He needs is for us to come to realize this great gift He has bestowed upon us.

YOU DIDN’T WORK TO BE HOLY. BE GRATEFUL FOR HIS FINISHED WORKS.

XOXO.